Watch Out for that Tree
Sometimes it can feel like the deck is stacked against us and even though we try to see the silver lining in the circumstances that we have found ourselves in, all we can seem to focus on is the dang cloud. It can feel as though things are happening to us, rather than happening for us or because of us. Focusing on the cloud can also disarm our solid, grounded and logical selves and leave us feeling fearful and out of control. When we are making decisions from this state, things rarely go as planned. We end up running around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off or running into one obstacle after the other in what appears to be a string of “bad luck”. It’s natural that we prefer to run away from things and situations that make us scared, irritated or feel out of our control - that combo is anxiety producing material at its finest. Not the running type? Well then, you’re likely the “fixing” type and can end up making yourself sick by trying to solve the problem of your situation or try to plan for and anticipate every subsequent hurdle that will present itself with each decision you make. That’s a lot of work! Sounds a bit like our sympathetic nervous system is running the show and has us locked into survival mode only, not thriving mode.
Our paths end up being chosen by moving away from what we don’t want, rather than towards what we do want. And often, those two directions are not the same. So if you’re feeling like you’re running around like that chicken, or that you’ve spent 9 rounds in a boxing ring, it’s time to take a pause and get your bearings again. When we focus our mind on where we don’t want to go or what we are afraid of, we automatically send the nervous system into fight or flight mode and can also inadvertently send ourselves careening into a different direction that isn’t any better. So what can we do about this?
All driver’s courses, mountain bike clinics, and sports plays focus on this principle: If you look at where you want to go, your chances of going there will increase exponentially. When you focus on that tree you are trying to avoid (rather than the open path next to it), more often than not, you end up hitting the tree. How we perceive our experience in any given situation is entirely dependent on our focus. Focusing on what we can’t do or what we can’t change isn’t going to get us any closer to what we want to do and who we want to be. Instead, focus on what you can do and what is in your control. Once you tackle the battle from that view, I think you might just find that things will begin to shift much quicker for you. At the very least, your situation won’t seem as unpleasant as it once did - even if it hasn’t changed on the surface.
So where is your focus? Is it on what you can’t do or what you can? Is it on healing or on pain? Is it on how your career benefits you and your purpose, or how it annoys you? Do you focus on what you can control or what’s out of your control?
Are you focused on the open path or on the tree?