The Problem with Positive Thinking
I think we can all appreciate that positive thinking is much better than negative thinking when it comes to helping us heal, thrive and just generally get more enjoyment out of life. The problem is that it takes more than “thinking” positively to really have those positive thoughts working for you. Our mind is full of thoughts - every second of the day, so it’s sometimes tough for our body to know what to believe and respond to!
Sometimes even conjuring up any positive thoughts can be difficult, especially if we are a bit lacking in the hope and belief department or high in the fear and anxiety department. When all you can feel are negative feelings, emotions and pain, it’s really difficult to create positive thoughts - and actually take yourself seriously for having them!
So we have a couple of roadblocks to sort our way through here:
1) How can we even have positive thoughts when “everything is going wrong” or we are scared?
This one is a challenge for sure, and I think you might know what the answer is… Try, try again! Rather than focusing on the big picture of your situation, try to focus on super tiny bite-sized chunks at the beginning - especially in difficult circumstances! When there is so much negativity muddying our waters, drawing focus to even a small positive thought and then taking action on it, allows us to strengthen the neural pathways of belief, self-confidence and our promise to our body that we have some skin in the game, that we are listening and doing something about it! Difficult - yes, but low on risk and high on reward - you betcha!
2) What if we can think some positive thoughts but nothing seems to change?
This doubt that thinking positively isn’t actually going to DO anything or result in any improvement in our situation can creep in and put a damper on the power of any positive thought. The key - don’t just try thinking positive thoughts, take positive action on those thoughts. When we act on our positive thoughts it helps to reinforce this mindset in our body and therefore our physiology. If we never act on our positive thoughts and therefore don’t really see the “return on investment” then it’s difficult for our body to believe that we’re being serious about this new way of thinking.
Another, often overlooked element of a positive thought, is the intention behind the thought. We all know what it feels like to be given an empty promise from somebody who we know has absolutely no intent on following through. This is kinda like floating a positive thought through your mind and expecting your body to get excited about it. You need to put some gusto in and prove to yourself that your positive thinking promises are something your body can count on! That means whatever positive thought you choose needs to be something you intend on following through with, otherwise it’s just empty words and the results are also likely to be slim to none.
Let’s do a comparison of positive thoughts and what it means to have intension behind them. If I lay on the couch and just think in monotone “I am going to have a good day. I love my life. I’m not in any pain”. Notttt a super convincing argument for my body. Contrast that to this girl! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg - there’s no way that her physiology won’t respond to that!
Now we might not all be into getting up on the counter with quite so much gusto - but what if we did?!? For those of you who can actually pull that off - I love it, you’re an inspiration to us all! For the rest, I hear ya, you want another option (just incase). How about this? Pick one positive thing to focus on for the day, write it down, then keep it in your mind by revisiting it a couple times during the day. Each time you review it, think about something you could do that acts on that positive thought (no matter how small) and do it! Next, celebrate it! Congratulate yourself for doing it. Tiny positive thoughts carry big weight when we can actually see ourselves doing them. This tiny thought now has some punch behind it and we have given our judge-y selves evidence that having and acting on these thoughts actually does make a difference in our day! Little by little we “prove” to ourselves that it is possible to make these positive changes and when that happens, we are making PROGRESS!!! You know what that means…yep, it’s time to cue the kitchen dance party!