Puzzles

Our life is a bit like a giant puzzle. A puzzle that we work on without knowing what the final picture will be. It changes and evolves over time. There are moments when it seems everything gets messed up, but that provides us the opportunity to put the pieces back differently. Sometimes it feels like we can’t seem to find a missing piece and sometimes we’ve got little sections going all over the place but just can’t seem to connect them. Rather than uniform difficulty, our puzzle is more like a “family puzzle” (those are the ones that have different sized pieces so that different age groups can work together on the same project). When we’re little, everything seems big and exciting, but also fairly simple. We’re putting some large pieces together and each is a fun adventure - with just a dash of frustration at times. There’s no fine details at this point - and we also don’t seem to care about those anyways, we just focus on the big pieces. As we grow and age, the pieces begin to get smaller and things begin to seem more and more complicated. Some pieces seem to fit together, but maybe not? Maybe this goes here…or there…or maybe it doesn’t fit? 

There will be times in all of our lives when there’s pieces that just don’t seem to fit with the rest of our puzzle. And though we might really want it to fit, no matter how hard we try to cram it in, it just doesn’t go. We might love that piece, and it might well be an amazing looking piece, but if it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. And dang it, that can be a really hard thing to accept. But regardless of how great it is, the whole picture just won’t look right. And, it probably won’t “feel” right either. Sometimes we need a different piece (perhaps the forgotten one that’s hiding under the box or that fell on the floor, or one we haven’t seen yet). The hardest part of being in this scenario, is that before we can find that new piece, we usually have to first stop trying to jam in that old one. Only once we put it down can we focus on finding a new one. In other instances, we might have the right pieces in our hands, but it’s the rest of the puzzle that needs to change. If that piece -whatever it may be, is so important to you that you just can’t put it down, but also just can’t fit it in, then we must think about finding or building the new puzzle it belongs to. 

So how do you know if you are holding a wrong piece or two, or if you’re working on the wrong puzzle? That’s no simple task and the answer is different for everyone and for every piece. What’s important to remember is to try not to get too caught up in the fine details of the little pieces and make sure that the big pieces are still fitting and feeling right. If they are intact then no matter what direction you choose, the finer details will probably shake out in the end - likely into something you couldn’t see before. What are your values and does this piece fit with them? Is this a little detail that at the end of the day could easily be something else, or is this a big values piece that you can’t let go of? Remember that your values, perspective and goals can change over time, and so too must your puzzle. Also consider if you’re liking the picture you’re putting together, or if you’re needing a change. Maybe you want to pursue something different using that important piece you couldn’t put down as the keystone or starting point to your new puzzle. 

The thing that keeps us stuck, holding onto a piece that doesn’t fit while also being unwilling to start a new puzzle, is likely fear. What if I choose the wrong thing to let go of? That’s spooky - and there’s no getting around it. When faced with what seems like a big cross-roads, pausing is defiantly warranted and wise, but that pause can also quickly turn into paralysis if we let it.

So to quote Dr. Seuss, if you’ve “puzzled and puzzed till your puzzler was sore” - but you still aren’t sure what to do. Perhaps take a lesson from the very young or the older puzzlers… I’ve noticed that they’ve both mastered the art of focusing on the big pieces. One out of blissful ignorance, the other out of wisdom.