Lemons
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” they say. While the thought is nice, in practice, that can be a bit trickier to pull off. So, besides ducking for cover and hoping we can dodge a lemon or two being hurled our direction, what can we do to help speed the process of whipping up that batch?
One large, often overlooked barrier to our ability to turn those lemons into lemonade is that we don’t always feel like we’re “allowed” to make it. If you are in a bad situation, you should be suffering through the terribleness right? It seems funny when we say it out loud, but we do tend to slip towards that mentality sometimes. “What would they say if I was still having a good time?” It is sometimes frowned upon to make light of a bad situation and difficult to change your mindset and your plans to make the best of the lemons on your plate. We worry about what others might think, the judgements they may pass, or that we won’t get the help we need if we are in the lemonade business.
Perhaps we are worried that others may minimize our problems if we seem to be handling them well. Perhaps in a subconscious effort to ensure we get the support we desire, we hold onto our lemons and keep them in their natural form. We wouldn’t want people to think that what we are going through is easy - so better not make the lemonade right?. We might also wonder “If I can turn my lemons into lemonade, are they less “lemon-y than another’s?” The answer is, a lemon is a lemon. But what we can do is choose to keep our lemons as is, or choose to at least try to make a little lemonade with them.
The self-limiting belief that we aren’t “allowed” or “shouldn’t” try to make our lemons a bit better for fear of being misunderstood is a little backwards. Ponder a moment who you admire. Usually, it’s the people who make lemonade. You still recognize their battles, and in fact, you probably are even more eager to provide support when they ask for it (even if they ask with a smile). So why would others think any differently if it was you making lemonade? Be aware that this is not the same as hiding your emotions or covering up problems. That is avoidance and denial. It’s just about making the best out of the lemons you’ve got to juggle at the moment.
A little example. Sometimes we’ve got serious health conditions to plod through, but recognizing that laughter really can be good medicine can help us on our journey. It doesn’t cover up the realities of where we’re at, but it can make the days a bit more tolerable, the doctors visits a bit more enjoyable and life a little bit fuller. It doesn’t mean your battle is any easier than the ones with lemons on full display. Those closest to you and those providing your care still see you and we recognize what you’re going through. So you don’t need to sugar coat things but also don’t be afraid to embrace where you’re at and the lemons you’ve got on the go. At the very least, it’ll make them a bit easier to swallow!
So when you feel like you’re caught in a game of dodgeball and lemons fly your way, know that you’re allowed to try to make them a little bit sweeter. While lemonade is still “lemon”ade, it’s ok to focus on enjoying the positives that may come with it, the relationships you may strengthen and build, and the silver lining of those clouds. So, cheers! I raise my glass to you - and your lemons!