Holiday Havoc
December is officially here (ready or not) and for a lot of people that means the season of over-extending and stress has arrived! Over-extending in our time commitments and social engagements, over-extending financially, and perhaps even over-extending our stomachs from time to time! Regardless of which holiday you celebrate, December and January can be busy months and rather than a joyous time full of love and laughter, it ends up causing havoc for lots of people. But have you ever considered that maybe it doesn’t have to be that way? Maybe the stress and havoc isn’t just a given that comes along automatically with the season and you can enjoy it this year. If you’re wishing this holiday season will be different, then it’s time you sat down and thought about what you’d like it to look like - and then make it happen.
If you feel strapped for time, consider which of those engagements are most important to you. We often make them out to be obligations in our minds - but it’s amazing how many people host a gathering because “they always have” or feel like they “have to” and then how many people are attending gatherings because they “always have” or feel like they “have to”. So many people are on the same page, they just never talk about it! Maybe it’s important for you to do the family thing. If so, it’s likely that a lot of your friends and coworkers are in the same boat. So rather than jamming everyone into the same 3 weeks, don’t be afraid to float something out there and see what people think about a get together at another time. If you’re worried it won’t happen at all, then schedule it in so you’ve made the commitment to each other. Maybe you shift it to February this year, or maybe you plan an annual get-away weekend with your friends (away from the busy time) where you can keep these strong connections and actually enjoy your time together, without so many other distractions and looming commitments. Does the office party need to happen in December, when 3/4 of the people are busy and stressed and the other 1/4 are off sick? Or might the office party make more sense to be in the summer as a “Christmas in July” party instead? Don’t be afraid to get creative - I can guarantee you’re not alone in wanting things to be easier this year - be the one to break the ice about it!
Sure, there are some things that would be wise for you to attend (or host), but if you aren’t looking forward to it, maybe it can be a bit different this year. You can re-write the “rules” that you’ve imposed on yourself. Maybe you love spending time with your family but don’t love spending your entire day in the kitchen cooking. If you’re hosting, you are allowed to invite people over and say you’re making ___ for dinner this time as it’s just too much to do the full spread. Once you’ve put up your boundaries about not spending the day in the kitchen, one of 3 things will occur - all positive. 1: Nobody actually really cares exactly what’s for dinner, they just want to be together and will come anyways - turkey and all the fixings or not! 2: If they are really attached to that spread, they will volunteer to bring an item or two (or you will assign it to them) - less cooking for you, same spread in the end. 3: They don’t come, but I’m pretty sure that’s a rare outcome, (and if it is the outcome welllll…maybe they were coming because they felt they needed to knowing that you spend all day cooking it, or, if they were more attached to the food than the people, you’ll probably be alright without them at this event!) Traditions are great, but only if you actually like them. Maybe you love having people over and cooking the turkey and all the rest, in which case - give er, but if you don’t, maybe you’d love having people over for homemade pizza, spaghetti or a taco bar. Pick out the parts of the traditions that you love and ditch the parts that just don’t work for you anymore.
Now, the financial piece can be a dicey topic and everyone is in a different position when it comes to this category. Except for teenagers “it’s the thought that counts” really does hold true in more cases than we tell ourselves. Maybe you make something, maybe you get something little, maybe you draw names, do an exchange or make a donation to charity rather than individual gifts. You and your friends or family might decide to do something together this year instead. It doesn’t need to be fancy. You could tell your crew to grab some paint and a blank canvas from a dollar store and show up with a snack for a paint night - then all follow along with Bob Ross on youtube (while you make fun of each other’s artistic abilities). Everyone goes home with their own masterpiece and voila memories made, time and money spent in the mall minimized - mission accomplished! Obviously choose your own adventure, maybe go skating, skiing, make a date for a walk or coffee, or get together and do a holiday project that you can all use later in the season (ticking another item off of everyone’s “to do list”).
Regardless of what your holiday season has looked like in the past don’t be afraid to change it up if it isn’t working for you. Remember it’s supposed to fun and keep the focus on the things that are actually important. Make your own rules - you just might be surprised how many other people will be so happy you did!