Acceptance

If doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is considered insanity, yet not trying to do it can be considered giving up - where the heck does that leave us?! I’ll let you in on a secret - in the unlikely event that you’ve never been there ;) It leaves us in no man’s land, spinning our tires and alternating between the two. It’s times like this that we can begin to learn the value of acceptance - when we apply it correctly.

To me, acceptance has always carried an undertone of negativity with it. Acceptance in my mind meant “giving up”…“settling”.… “throwing in the towel” - with perhaps a dash of admitting weakness and a lack of perseverance on the side. I also didn’t think it was possible for acceptance and optimism for improvement to co-exist. As a result of my view (and misunderstanding) of acceptance, my tendency to resist it was pretty darn high - and I have a feeling I’m not alone. If you’ve been resisting acceptance about something and spinning your wheels for awhile, it may just be time that you too consider the possibility that this notion of acceptance being negative might not be so right after all. (In fact, I did a little thesaurus search to make sure and wouldn’t you know it, none of the words I attributed to acceptance showed up on the page. Instead, most of them were positive: embracing, accepting, receiving, cooperation, approving and simply acknowledging). So perhaps if you’ve been sitting on the resistance train, you could humour me by imagining what might happen if we rearrange our thinking of acceptance. What might we gain by making it a little bit more about being happy and enjoying where we’re at and a little bit less about giving up? In fact, I think it’s worth us considering that rather than spending much of our resources resisting it, perhaps embracing acceptance could actually have the potential to free us up to spend more time and energy on growing, moving forward, or healing. So you see, it’s actually quite the contrary to giving up! Learning to have some positive acceptance for where we are at now can become the accelerant for change and help propel us forward. Let’s check out how.

Consider applying this new positive version of acceptance in the career realm. Don’t worry, it certainly isn’t about “settling”! People can tell if you enjoy what you do (no matter what your current role may be), and they can also tell when you don’t. Even if your position isn’t the one you strive to be in, accepting you’re in it now can actually help you move forward later. Making the best of it and learning what you can from it will do nothing but make your day more enjoyable and catch the eye of those around you — making you a perfect candidate to “move up” the next time an opportunity presents itself. Accepting you may not have all the answers for a given scenario but that someone else might, is also an important element in the workforce. Rather than making you appear unqualified, accepting and acknowledging any limitations actually increases the respect your fellow co-workers and potentially your customers or clients have for you. Recognizing your gaps, being ok with them and focusing on what you do well can accelerate your career by attracting those who fit your niche better - if you feel so inclined, it may also motivate you to do a bit more training, which in turn of course expands your knowledge base and opens you to further career progress.  

Now we’ll have look at how this might play out in the health realm. Maybe you’ve got an injury or illness that requires you to modify the way you currently live your life. Perhaps you can no longer do things the same way you used to. Perhaps you don’t have the same stamina or energy to make it through a day juggling different demands with ease like you could before. Maybe you’ve got some other limitations you feel your body has placed on you now. Regardless of what the issue is, how quickly do you think you might heal and move forward if you refuse to change the way you do things and keep pissing off your injury or continually drain all of your limited energy reserves? And how helpful do you think the emotions of frustration, anger, sadness and resentment about it will be to you and your journey of healing or learning to live more fully with a chronic diagnosis? Accepting we may need to modify things, take more breaks, be more patient, and that things might just need to look a bit different right now, doesn’t mean we need to give up on our hope that things will be better moving forward. After all, accepting that you can’t do something today, makes no comment or presumption on what you think you might be able to do in the future. So don’t let yourself get confused between acceptance and giving up when it comes to your health. You owe it to yourself to accept where you are at today and find a way to be happy doing the things you can do now, while still looking forward and taking steps towards a brighter time in the future. Hang on to your goals and push for them, even if that pushing might also need to look a little bit different than the way you’ve done it in the past. Certainly, balancing where we are at now with what we’d “rather” be doing is tricky, but acceptance and a bit of compassion can help that tough pill to swallow go down a bit easier. 

Healing has always been a process and it always will be, so will acceptance for each phase of our journey. When we can accept and respect some of the limitations we encounter along the way, the process can become more empowering and less frustrating. It doesn’t mean we need to give up fighting and pushing forwards, those are important attributes to hold onto, but when we focus more on the baby steps we can do today, rather than compare to where we used to be or where we want to be, I’ll think we’ll all find that our journey will be a bit smoother - and we’ll also probably reach those desired destinations a little bit quicker. 

A special thanks to those in my life who have challenged me to consider acceptance along my own journey - in spite of my previous beliefs about it!